Recently I came to a big epiphany that I needed to come to. It was along the lines of life. How I interact with others, interpret people, dealing with my thoughts, dealing with over analyzing, and over thinking. I came to the conclusion that I need to calm down sometimes. I need to slow down, take more time to think rationally, and not let other people be the source of my unhappiness and my happiness. I was stuck in a weird cycle of caring too much, which made me become too sensitive. Almost to the point where I was no longer enjoying myself and being my weird self. I would be to in my head. I can't explain how great it felt to come to this realization.
So, this is what I have been working on the past few weeks since coming to this conclusion. This is not black and white. It is not fixed right away. Working on making a conscious effort to fix your thought process, and mind set is a hard thing. I will admit I have been doing well.
I find myself able to not get as worked up, or angry at people. Instead I see their side before snapping my opinion out. I analyze the conflict to see if the energy is even worth it. Realizing that you don't always need to put your two cents in in every conversation and argument is refreshing. It was saved me loads of small, pointless arguments.
I have learned that people are busy. Just because you are not being contacted 24/7 does not mean you are of any less value. This is out technology generation taking control when we feel this way.
I leave learned that worrying constantly about a problem is NOT a solution. Instead of worrying when I find I am stressed or thinking about something to often I think what can I do to fix this instead of worry about this. I would say this lesson is the most important one to me thus far.
I have learned that my communication is not as great as a thought. I do not listen well anymore. I talk to be listened to not to have a conversation most of the time. I am making more efforts to change this. Already I have noticed how much more I learn and observe my being the listener more often.
I have also leaned that being selfish at times is actually for your best interest. I plan on being selfish these next few months abroad. This is my time to be so involved in my environment and all the experiences that I am having. I will not worry or be the friend who constantly is putting in the effort, and I will not feel bad about it. This is my time of crucial individual growth.
Right now as I am in Florida with my family, with few friends, and tight on money. I also have an abundance of free time. It has triggered me back to some of my old ways. Again, at least I am conscious of this happening, putting me ahead of the game.
I came to the conclusion today that a lot of the root to my worrying, over analyzing and bad moods are the cause of too much time on social media. When I am on social media with abundance of free time I see all the fun things everyone else is doing, I mindlessly scroll for hours, I creep and see friends then start to think of all the people I feel do not make an effort. It is a horrible cycle. There is no stimulation in this.
I decided to make some intentions to work on these next few months. This is perfect timing as I basically have a fresh start with traveling abroad. Why not fresh start everything.
My Intentions:
1.) Less time on social media a.k.a my phone. I do no want to constantly be worried about what everyone else is up to and wasting hours and hours on my phone and apps. Social media is linked to depression. I want to be living in real life. I want to be so busy and active I do not even think of my phone.
2.) Spend more time invested in hobbies/ learning new things. I want to spend my time watching documentaries, or podcast. I want to spend my time blogging, reading, going on hikes, looking new music up, helping family with yard work, going to coffee shops, doing yoga , learning a new skill, or meeting new people and having new experiences.
3.) I want to get back into my mediation practices.Doing this is a wonderful way to stay present and mindful. It will help with everyday stress and my thought process.
4.) I want to get back to being healthier. Just in general. Making healthier eating choices, choosing to do more yoga, etc. Healthy body AND mind.
5.) Lastly, I want to get back to being me. 100 % me. My weird, enjoy life, laughing self. I use to be so free from worry or what people thought. I use to be so busy loving life I didn't have time to worry about these pointless stresses or dramas. I WILL be back to this, I can feel her coming back already!
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