My hardest goodbye

This is something that I and the whole group was regretting for ages. It was such a build up.

All I know is that I have amazing fucking friends. They all brought me to the station for my flight home, and almost all of them that went to the station paid to come to the airport to say bye to me.

I think sitting at that airplane knowing i had minutes left with this whole group was what really broke me.

I hugged them one by one knowing that things will never be like this again. I have never seen so many tears and so much love. It broke me, I could feel it.

My hardest goodbye was Euan. I don't know how it is possible for someone like me and Euan to be best friends but it happened. We have such an interesting relationship. Hugging him goodbye left me in uncontrollable tears.

Leaving all these people was the hardest thing that I have done in ages.

I cried the while flight, the whole car ride home, and cried myself to sleep.

I guess I am writing this blog not for sympathy but because I want to look back and be able to remember this deep sadness but deep love I had for these people after just 6 short months.

I had this sadness because I had so much love and happiness with these people and this time abroad that I was this sad. At least I had something that good, that was so hard to leave.

Even today it's my first full day back and all I can do is message and face time them all. Its so hard.

Studying abroad is everything everyone says it is and so much more. It is a life changing experience; and to be honest I think I got extra lucky. This group was so strong, so mental, and so fun. Not everyone gets that.

I'll also miss Den haag, I learned to love that city. Cycling or tramming around. Coffee shops, cute bars, going to the beach, and I cant believe it I'll even miss millers.

Even though my accommodation, the student hotel, was up the butt expensive I loved it there. I am going to miss going out for joints and seeing everyone. Or always having someone to smoke a cig with. I'm going to miss being 4 rooms down from my best friend, and having him cook me dinner.

I'll miss the Ismet the cornershop owner. He was so good to my friends and I'll miss going in there drunk and high and dancing and singing with him.  He's a good hardworking man.

 The hardest part for me is who knows when the whole group will be together again, if ever. I guess that is what was so beautiful and special about it. It was temporary.

I loved living everyday with these people, I like the lifestyle, and friendships we had. How am I suppose to let that go?

I'm trying not to be sad because I am going to do everything in my power to keep in contact and see these people again. This is not the end, its the beginning.