No Netflix

NO NETFLIX NO PROBLEMS

I have wasted my whole entire life on netflix.. okay that is drama, but like legit. 

How many hours have I wasted away watching a fake reality. I could of used those hours to knit my grandma a sweater, or collect all my nail clippings.. now who knows how many nail clippings I would of had by now. So disappointing. 

In all seriousness one day after Rae and I had  a 'omg I'm so happy life is good lets be productive talk' we decided to only watch Netflix after 10pm and damn it has opened our eyes

I no longer rush home and avoid doing things. It has helped me slow down. I do more studying, I do more " me" time hobbies. It is incredible. I am just tying to unplug a little bit. 

It sucks not knowing what fucked up thing Fiona will do next in Shameless, but I instead finished a book this week. Like Fuck yeah reading and shit. 

I hope I can keep this up, I want to keep enjoying my days, and being productive. 

The Perfect Day

My cousin Aubrie is someone I have always looked up to. I love the way she lives life, her attitude on everything, and the way she hold herself. She is so motivated and has her head on straight. I am so lucky to have her.

I recently messaged her asking what she does when life gets a bit mundane or she is feeling off/ down. She sent me this link:

http://stephenguise.com/design-your-perfect-day-heres-mine/

It is a framework for what your perfect day would look like. I am going to do mine on here. What I like about it is that you can look back on it on days where you are feeling off and see what maybe you could do differently, or what would make you happier.

The framework is for a 16 hour day, and 8 hours of sleep ( because sleep is important).Now this isn't a set, this would only be the perfect day for you, this is a realistic one. To see how you can make a normal day of life, at its best, full, value for you.

The Perfect Day for Vicky C :

A Healthy breakfast ( 30 min):

I know this seems weird, but I am not a morning person. Getting up early and eating a healthy breakfast always leaves me feeling energized and excited for a good day. I would eat a smoothie, oatmeal with nuts and strawberries. or eggs and avocado toast.

Yoga before the day ( 1 hour) :

It amazes me how I can put off doing something so much that makes me feel so good. I love doing yoga, especially in the morning. It leaves me feeling stretched, its a good workout for my body and mind, and it leaves me feeling mindful.

Coffee shop ( 2-3 hours) :

Then since this a realistic day I would go to a coffee shop. Those are my places nothing relaxes me and makes me feel like me like being in a coffee shop. I like the socialness of it, while still being productive. I would do my homework, since I'm in college. I would make a blog post, read a book, brain storm ideas, plan a trip, chat with a old friend. Pretty much anything, just doing it at a cafe makes my heart happy.

Lunch with a friend or family member ( 1 hour) :

I love being social, and out with friends and family. So I would most likely meet up with someone fora good chat, and a nice, healthy lunch. Take a hour of my day to eat good food, and be in good company.

Something outside ( 2 hours): 

I love being outside, it stimulates and relaxes me. It helps me catch my breath and slow down. So, I would go for a walk or a hike, or mediate outside. Something to soak up the sun, and clean my soul mind.

Work ( 6 hours): 

Since this is a realistic perfect day, I would have to go to work. I am a server. In my perfect day I would go to work listening to my favorite songs, get to work in a good mood, with my coworkers in a good mood, and make pretty good money that night with a smile on my face.

Shower/ night time routine ( 30 min): 

I love a good shower at the end of the day! Get myself all clean and cozy for bed!

Do something creative ( 1 hour): 

This one is important to me because I love being creative, and learning something new. I would wither color, draw, embroider, learn an instrument, or anything in that fashion.

Read a book book/ or listen to a good podcast ( 1 hours): 

In my perfect day I would not mindlessly watch Netflix, I would read a good book. One of my mindful books that always leaves me with a smile and a positive attitude before sleep. Or I would listen to a podcast. I love podcast. I would probably listen to a stuff you should know one. There are educational and entertaining. I love learning the random facts about things.

Then, Sleep! 

I like this framework tremendously. Obviously not everyday is going to be like this. It is just something nice too look at, and think about. It is something you can go back and change as you get into different phases of life.

a walk down memory lane

Lately both Rae and I have had a lot of signs, and old things come up about the past.

Rae was reading her blog post from high school, and the comments people left her in her yearbook where traits she doesn't even remember about herself.

We had a nice chat about it, she was concerned as if she lost that person. I told her to see it as she is that person, and the person she is now. That old girl is unfamiliar because she is now so many versions of herself. That is what life is about I think. Growing, changing, and morphing into the best version of yourself.

I had my little moment today. I whipped out my two old kind of like journals/ quote list/ drawing book. Just basically these two old books where I write how I am feeling, random thoughts, I have cards and pictures in them. Going through these made me so happy. I had a similar reaction as Rae. Seeing my thoughts, how positive, open , and raw they are, I almost missed that girl. but she is not gone, she is right here, just an even better version.

I am so happy that Rae and I keep things like this where I can look back on it, learn from it over and over again, and also be reminded of these times, and steps that I forgot I went through.

This came at a perfect time, for a lot of reasons.

Never forget who you are and were, but also never forget to continue to allow yourself to change.

The small things

In Green Bay I NEED to appreciate the small things... or I go crazy.

It's been hard being home, but certain things make it great.

Mainly friends.

Kasey: 

Going to Oshkosh to see my friend Kasey was lovely.

We went for coffee. Did a TREAT YO SELF date. I had amazing craft beer, steak, and potato croquettes. We then bought some records and did some shopping at the vintage thrift shop.

\

We went out that night bar hoping, and were definitely the weirdos on the dance floor.

Topless Thursday:

Rae and I did one of our topless Tuesday's together while watching her cousins bomb ass house. We did painting on canvases... with our boobs. We had wine, but on the oldies station, and literally painted with our tits. It was amazing.

Doing these Topless Thursday's with Rae are meant to be fun, and something different to do, but they are so much more than that.

They have given me so much confidence, and acceptacne of myself and the female body. It has been so freeing.

My drawing was entitled: "The Alien's Are Coming" / Rae's was entitled:" Big Balls By Boobs"

Olivia: 

I made a new friend as school this term, her name is Olivia. She is cute and I want to keep her in my back pocket. We are an actual skit of Saturday Night Live together. She is new to Green Bay so its been nice to take her out to see the limited cool places and people in Green Bay.

I am happy to a have bumped into her. She makes me happy.























Alcohol: 

As sad as it is to say some of the best things to do in Green Bay involve drinking.

Going out with my girls makes it so much less lame here.

My new job is actually pretty cool and surprisingly enjoyable.

The real Vicky C

I've had a lot on my mind lately, in so many different ways. I have been falling apart in so many ways. I was letting it all consume me and bring me to such a bad place.

At first I was so confused as to way I was feeling this way. I knew I missed my mates from Europe but I couldn't grasp why it was this bad. I was worried it was only going to get worse.

I realized that it was just a lesson. Sometimes we need to be broke so we can be put back together,  put back together as an even stronger individual. That is what I realized today, and it saved me.

I want the old Vicky C back. I want my sass, my happiness, my positive attitude. I want it all back.

... and its coming. I can feel it. I need to know that what I had in Europe can never be taken away from me, and the reason I am sad because it was so real in so many aspects. The people I met, the things I did, the things I learned about myself. I need to be thankful for such an experience. I don't want to turn that time into a bad experience because I am unable to cope. I need to look back on it and smile, and know I now have so many amazing friends for life.

I use to be the person who was so mentally aware, in a positive way. I could pull myself out of any funk, and take a life lesson out of it.

I don't want to be this negative, complaining, irrational girl anymore. Its not me. I'm Vicky C and I need to start acting like it again.

I am not looking at any of the good things that are happening to  me since I have been home, and that is not cool, and such a waste of my life. I need to get back to being in the moment.

I need to get back full force into my ways of seeing everything as half full.

I guess in a way I am thankful for this deep sadness I was/ am feeling. I never thought I would say that because it was been horrible. The anxiety, depression, horrible irrational thoughts that came with it were the worse. BUT it made me see why I like doing the things I do so much.

I like reading self help books, listening to motivating podcast, meditating, going for walks, and to weird events on being a happy soul.  It made me appreciate that kind of mindset so much more.

It is so easy to get mad at yourself for embracing your feelings. I am not going to do that, I'm tired of apologizing. I cant control that this was how I felt, but I can take away as much as I can from it. I can grow and blossom from it.

I think I have forgot that I am in control of my thoughts and happiness, and not other people, places and things are.

I feel like I got a little bit of me back today, which was exactly what I needed to spark my fire back in me.

and let me tell you, damn, it feels good to be back.

High Times

This post is just specifically dedicated to getting high. It may not seem an appropriate post to all, but hey its legal in the Netherlands and it has definitely been apart of the culture and the good times I have been having here.

It is just a series of random pictures throughout my whole stay where my friends are either smoking in the picture or are high in the photo that I took. 

I also combined from my quote list that I have here, ( I quote the funny shit my friends say in my phones notes) quotes that my friends said while high. The quotes won't always correlate with the picture.

It's all just random.

" Me, you, a box of condoms at my family Christmas weekend. " - Ted 

" I bought this for you, because  I know I don't know you, and I'm about to smoke your weed now." - Dorina ( talking about her chocolate she brought as a house warming gift) 

" Lewy Im going to strangle you with my vagina." - Vicky C

" Too many drugs, not enough prawn crackers" - Nicolette

"Victoria could you shed some light on this" - Nicolette  Me: * actually turns the light on on my phone* ( 6 joints in; they meant shine some light on the subject like the expression) 

" Who gave me this Molly" - Nin ( with her crazy eyes) 

"When you're high and pass a mirror" - Amanda  

" When I'm on Molly I go up to random people and I tell them that I am literally defying gravity right now." - Amanda ( high at Smokey's) 

" I like guys with hair" - Nin 

" Are my socks decomposing" - Me ( on shrooms)

" You've got to care for it and make each one special." - Max talking about joints

" I wonder if people will just think this is a cig if I post this on instagram" - Vicky C

"When you told your boyfriend you quit smoking and he catches you in the act"- Nin

When you get a new museum card and this was the picture you sent them 

I wonder how proud this picture would make my dad 

when your dreads are wet but you need a joint 

"This country gets weird...it will change you. And just when you think it cant get any weirder, it does." - Random high guy at a party 

I think that may be the best quote I have. I cant explain how true that was for my time in Den haag 

The text that Phillip gets from his mom 

The Classic Drugos

When you smoke white widow 

When you are so high and drunk and sad about leaving your friends that you cry in the fridge and drop Ted's birthday cake 

but then you make it up to him while high in Billy's bathroom where you took a digital film photo shoot

Phillip sees this as my future- why thank you Phillip 

When the space cake is good 

When  you're a 40 year old mom and the weed bring you back to your college days of rippin the bong

" I know I'm drunk when I want to smoke cigarette's out of my nose" - Nin 

 when you wonder if you're still looking good after the party so you take a quick selfie to check

when the molly takes you on a different emotion every second